man, i'm not even horny, i'm just masturbating to feel some kind of pleasure in this life that's full of never ending pain, i miss the days when i was happy, the days before i knew what life was really like, the more i know

Guy has a tapeworm in his intestine and tries many doctors but everybody fails to remove it. Finally he tries an alternative doctor whom everybody recommended heavily and visits him.

The doctor says: Come back tomorrow with two bananas and a Snickers bar. The patient is confused but does as he’s told.

The next day he shows up with two bananas and a Snickers bar. The doctor proceeds to insert both bananas and the Snickers bar up the man’s ass.

The doctor then says to him: Come back tomorrow with two bananas and a Snickers bar. The man is very confused but does as he’s told.

The patient and the doctor repeat this process for 5 days. On the sixth day, the doctor tells the patient: Tomorrow bring two bananas but instead of a Snickers bar, bring a mallet. The patient is again confused but does as he’s told.

The next day the doctor inserts both bananas up the guy’s butt and quickly grabs the mallet and waits.

All of the sudden, the tapeworm pops out saying : Hey! Where’s my Snickers bar?

WHAM!!!!

stay retired paul you're a better commentator than fighter, now would you say that to my face man to man?, nope you'd kick my ass that's why i said it on twitter, fair enough
dead man's fingers, the fungus is a naturally occurring growth that forms at the bottom of trees