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  • in case of fire break glass, comic
  • when a child swallows a cleaning product, why is milk often given?, to make them happy before their die
  • mario doesn't hit blocks with his head, he hits them with his fist
  • when you miss the last step on the stairs
  • what's your greatest weakness?, i'm vague, can you elaborate?, yeah...
  • blue power, red power, green power, well, hi?, white power, power rangers
  • when i said i'd rather die than go to math class, that was hyperbole, assholes, gun control
  • quack mirror, finally my invention is complete, a pair of electronic glasses that can detect sex perverts, comic


  • danish high school girls, blonde, denmark
  • just wait untill spring, truck under frozen water from car wash
  • my dog always looks at me like he just told a dad joke
  • i walk a lonely road cause everyone else fell the fuck off, rainbow road, mariokart
  • in the movies if a woman is alone and hears a noise, she will go and check it out in her most revealing underwear
  • when a girl waves one of your friend over from across the bar
  • batman and robin hit a speed bump, what happens next is determined by physics, holy speed bumps batman
  • if anyone tells you that your dreams are silly, remind them that there's some millionaire out there waling around who invented the pool noodle


  • #58016

  • words cannot described how beautiful you are

    , but numbers can, 6 out of 10
  • 385 views
words cannot described how beautiful you are, but numbers can, 6 out of 10
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  • #59231

  • i can't believe the school is on fire

    , thank god we got all the kids out in time, well we better get the kids back in there, but the fire's only gotten worse, sure but consider how much it costs to keep them out here
  • 189 views
i can't believe the school is on fire, thank god we got all the kids out in time, well we better get the kids back in there, but the fire's only gotten worse, sure but consider how much it costs to keep them out here
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  • #59176

  • always do your best

    , and everybody's best is different, you can't always be the best, but you can always do your best
  • 381 views
always do your best, and everybody's best is different, you can't always be the best, but you can always do your best
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  • #58844

  • you can''t change the people around you

    , but you can change the people around you
  • 325 views
you can''t change the people around you, but you can change the people around you
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  • #58787
  • when people talk about traveling to the past
    , they worry about radically changing the present by doing something small, but barely anyone in the present really thinks they can radically change the future by doing something small
  • 415 views
when people talk about traveling to the past, they worry about radically changing the present by doing something small, but barely anyone in the present really thinks they can radically change the future by doing something small
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