Everyone Here Is Alive Because I Got Laid - JustPost: Virtually entertaining

--> Everyone Here Is Alive Because I Got Laid - JustPost: Virtually entertaining

my great grandma started giggling at a barbecue and when i asked what's funny, she said, everyone here is alive because i got laid

yesterday i told my nephew i'm not allowed to eat popsicles, so he pulls me into the bathroom, slams the door, and whispers, shhhh i got us both popsicles but we need to eat them in here so my mom doesn't find out

when people say thanos is bad because he wanted to eliminate everyone and begin all over again, god, noah's ark, bible

you know in jaws when everyone is pissed the beaches are closed because the shark keeps killing people and they know it's killing people and they go to the beach anyway?, that's what this pandemic is like

i can't believe the school is on fire, thank god we got all the kids out in time, well we better get the kids back in there, but the fire's only gotten worse, sure but consider how much it costs to keep them out here

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