--> I Spotted Her Out My Window And Couldn T Believe My Eyes At First - JustPost: Virtually entertaining
so this happened last night, wind blew it off a lamp post in the back yard, dog got curious and then got it stuck on her head, i spotted her out my window and couldn't believe my eyes at first, she was perfectly still, take off

A man came home from work sporting two black eyes.

“What happened to you?” asked his wife.

“I’ll never understand women,” he replied. “I was riding up an escalator behind this pretty young girl, and I noticed that her skirt was stuck in the crack of her ass. So I pulled it out, and she turned around and punched me in the eye!”

“I can certainly appreciate that,” said the wife. “But how did you get the second black eye?”

“Well, I figured she liked it that way,” said the husband, “so I pushed it back in.”

Two blondes were in a bar watching the television when the news came on. It showed a guy on a bridge that was about to jump, obviously suicidal. “I’ll bet you $10 he’ll jump,” said Betty.

“Bet you $10 he won’t,” replied Amber. Then, the guy on the television closed his eyes and threw himself off the bridge. The second blonde hands the first her money.

“I can’t take your money,” said Betty. “I cheated you. The same story was on the five o’clock news.”

“No, no. Take it,” said Amber. “I saw the five o’clock news too. I just didn’t think the guy was dumb enough to jump again!”
joke, blonde, bar, news, suicide, bet
met an elderly lady who lives across the street from six flags, says every year she buys a season pass with a meal plan and eats all her meals at the amusement park, i figured out what kind of old person i want to be