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  • when you forget to put deodorant on in the morning and need to cover that stench, cologne bottle with water spray nozzle
  • damn girl are you a math textbook? no why, cuz you have a lot of fucking problems
  • did you know the wolverine mask is basically batman kissing batman in front of iron man
  • did you go to the bath houses they have?, no my penis is too small, you know what i mean?, no
  • how do i look?, with your eyes dear, sarcastic meme, frink
  • who cares what people think, kiss me you fool, man and bear love
  • you had one job, horrible road line paint job
  • elephant brains react to humans the same way that human brains react to puppies, they think we're cute


  • nutella and preso ice cream cones support net neutrality
  • time is more valuable than money, you can get more money, but you cannot get more time
  • lazy sunglasses, what you see vs what she sees
  • what did you just put in my drink, you'll see in a few minutes, foam dinosaurs
  • what happens at school when I go to class, what happens at home when i miss the class
  • martin luther king, dream, dishes
  • if guys have morning wood, do girls have morning dew?, philosoraptor, meme
  • leonardo di caprio, oscars, daniel day lewis, jennifer lawrence, actress, actors, academy awards


  • #57200

  • if i say goodnight and an hour later you see me online

    , it's not that i lied, it's just that i failed
  • 427 views
if i say goodnight and an hour later you see me online, it's not that i lied, it's just that i failed
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1
  • #56793

  • when you're leaving your parent's house and you say

    , see you later alligator, and your mom replies with, in a while crocodile, whitest whites
  • 917 views
when you're leaving your parent's house and you say, see you later alligator, and your mom replies with, in a while crocodile, whitest whites
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1
  • #59922

  • when i was a boy and i would see scary things in the news

    , my mother would say to me, look for the helpers, you will always find people who are helping, fred rogers
  • 1897 views
when i was a boy and i would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, look for the helpers, you will always find people who are helping, fred rogers
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3
  • #44815

  • when i see rich snooty woman at the grocery store

    , i pretend i need something and say "excuse me do you work here?" just to keep things real
  • 2551 views
when i see rich snooty woman at the grocery store, i pretend i need something and say "excuse me do you work here?" just to keep things real
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0
  • #28590
  • if someone offers you an amazing opportunity and you're not sure you can do it
    , say yes then learn how to do it later, richard branson, quote
  • 985 views
if someone offers you an amazing opportunity and you're not sure you can do it, say yes then learn how to do it later, richard branson, quote
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