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man dressed as kim jong un makes gets drunk and makes out with more than 30 women
record numbers of teens are depressed, we must find out why, school is more stressful than ever, our parents screwed over the economy, the earth is on a path to total environmental destruction, and now we have to deal with nazis

Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates.

"In honor of this holy season," Saint Peter said, "you must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven."

The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. It represents a candle, he said.

You may pass through the pearly gates Saint Peter said.

The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, "They're bells" . Saint Peter said you may pass through the pearly gates.

The third man started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women's panties.

St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, "And just what do those symbolize?"

The man replied, "They're Carols".

we should plant trees instead of graveyards, if leonardo dicaprio gets an son, he should name him oscar, imagine being deaf and finding out that farting actually makes a noise, when someone dies on a tv show
A burglar who broke into a house and threatened a pensioner with a knife got more than he bargained for when the victim turned out to be a retired boxer who left him bruised and bleeding.
burglar left bruised by 72 year old boxer