--> On The First Date And Then Two Weeks Into The Relationship - JustPost: Virtually entertaining
on the first date and then two weeks into the relationship
remember in mariokart when you thought you were in first place but then realize you were looking at the wrong screen and actually crashing into walls?, that's adulthood

Three Nuns are in line at the gates to get into Heaven Saint Peter tells them “Before you may enter the gates of Heaven, if you have ever touched a mans penis, place that body part in this bowl of holy water so you may be cleansed.”

The first Nun steps up and places her hand in the water, then walks into Heaven.

The third Nun jumps in front of the second Nun and asks “can I gargle the water before she sticks her butt in it?”

If you love two people at the same time, choose the second one, because if you really loved the first one you wouldn’t have fallen for the second.

Two blondes were in a bar watching the television when the news came on. It showed a guy on a bridge that was about to jump, obviously suicidal. “I’ll bet you $10 he’ll jump,” said Betty.

“Bet you $10 he won’t,” replied Amber. Then, the guy on the television closed his eyes and threw himself off the bridge. The second blonde hands the first her money.

“I can’t take your money,” said Betty. “I cheated you. The same story was on the five o’clock news.”

“No, no. Take it,” said Amber. “I saw the five o’clock news too. I just didn’t think the guy was dumb enough to jump again!”
joke, blonde, bar, news, suicide, bet