--> So This Year We Bought A 20 Ft Christmas Tree And Cut It In Half So It Goes Through The Roof - JustPost: Virtually entertaining
so this year we bought a 20 ft christmas tree and cut it in half so it goes through the roof, troll, lol

Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates.

"In honor of this holy season," Saint Peter said, "you must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven."

The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. It represents a candle, he said.

You may pass through the pearly gates Saint Peter said.

The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, "They're bells" . Saint Peter said you may pass through the pearly gates.

The third man started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women's panties.

St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, "And just what do those symbolize?"

The man replied, "They're Carols".

and this year's darwin award goes to the flaming cake under hellium balloons
arfie was a two year old black lab who was shot and killed by an officer because the cop feared for his own safety, this would sound fairly normal except arfie was inside a vehicle and the officer shot him through the window
I was recently riding with a friend of mine.

We were coming to a red light, and he shoots right through it. I ask him, “Why’d you do that?” He tells me this is how his brother drives.

We come to another red light, and again, he shoots right through it. I ask him, “Why’d you do that?” Again, he tells me this is how his brother drives.

We come to a green light, and he slams on the brakes. My heart nearly goes into my throat. I shouted at him, “Why do you do that?!”

He replied, “You never know, my brother could be coming the other way.”