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  • if you dress sexy you will attract a man who wants to have sex with you, if you dress lovely you will attract a man who will love you, meme
  • i'll tell you what's wrong with society, no one drinks from the skulls of their enemies anymore
  • inside each of us are two wolves, one has depression, the other has depression, you have depression
  • don't wait until you're on your deathbed to tell people how you really feel, you could be too weak to raise your middle finger
  • describe your first deathblow encounter with three words, fallout shelter, meme
  • the fuck outta here, man throws garbage can at woman
  • when the chow mien was on point but you kinda miss your cat
  • if she's amazing she won't be easy, if she's easy she won't be amazing, if she's worth it you won't give up, if you give up you're not worthy, truth is that everybody is going to hurt you, you just got to find the ones worth suffering for


  • perspective, girl bent over and boy looking behind
  • things i wish i could eat all the time, pizza, ice cream, ass, bacon cheeseburger
  • how haven't i risked my life and tried this yet?, sex in the car
  • when you finally confront the person responsible for everything wrong in your life
  • why can't life be as simple as the lion king, when you can just say hakuna matata, and watch your dad get trampled to death
  • when you've already destroyed the christmas tree and now it's time to take down santa's village
  • pro tip, if you're tired of boiling water when you make pasta, just boil a few gallons at the beginning of the week and freeze it for later
  • i got lost in the woods with a guy who demanded he hold the compass to navigate, after two hours he threw it on the ground complaining that north keeps moving, simple things i had to explain to an adult


  • #60464

  • you need to eat healthy

    , no, the last patient who didn't change their diet after i suggested it died, oh my goodness, in a place crash, that sounds unrelated, i'm the one that crashed it, do not disobey me
  • 390 views
you need to eat healthy, no, the last patient who didn't change their diet after i suggested it died, oh my goodness, in a place crash, that sounds unrelated, i'm the one that crashed it, do not disobey me
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  • #60265

  • i met a girl with 12 breasts

    , that sounds strange, dozen tit?, star trek
  • 703 views
i met a girl with 12 breasts, that sounds strange, dozen tit?, star trek
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  • #59054

  • i'm sorry if this sounds harsh

    , but no one, including time, owes anything to you, your life is a series of habits that are formed from choices you make and then continue to make every single day
  • 3150 views
i'm sorry if this sounds harsh, but no one, including time, owes anything to you, your life is a series of habits that are formed from choices you make and then continue to make every single day
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  • #54948

  • wanna go back to my place?

    , we can play doctor if you know what i mean, oh yeah that sounds hot, wtf is he doing, i've been waiting for like an hour
  • 2305 views
wanna go back to my place?, we can play doctor if you know what i mean, oh yeah that sounds hot, wtf is he doing, i've been waiting for like an hour
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  • #45720
  • women these days really don't know how to act the part
    , as sexist as that sounds, fail
  • 1174 views
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