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  • you are not fat, you have fat, you also have fingernails but you are not fingernails
  • my gf planned on cheating my with my best friend, he declined her offer and told me about it, good guy greg, meme
  • in honor of april fool's day, i am giving all fools a day off, there will be no pity given out today, you're welcome, twitter
  • a fun day at the park, but not for every one, swing breaking, timing
  • this chinese food is so raw, i just had to clean it's litter box, gordon ramsay, meme
  • using a quote from your favourite game, others will guess what it is, meme
  • a ship in the harbour is safe, but that's not what ships are for
  • superman and wonder woman discuss bullet bouncing


  • i smoke weed for the same reason people wear glasses, to improve my view of the world
  • daddy why's my sister named florence?, because we conceived her in florence italy, thanks dad, you're welcome backseat
  • there is a price to pay for everything you gain, meme
  • i spent 30 minutes explaining to my mother in law why she can't connect her tablet to her home wifi while she's at work, simple things I had to explain to an adult
  • plastic bag over face to protect from hot sparks, fail
  • when the sun hits your laptop screen just right, dirty laptop screen
  • bad ass woman, superwoman, kung fu hustle
  • whoa alex you look damaged, i was exposed to the nearest star, i feel more attractive, honestly you are, it's the star damage, i crave star damage, nathanwpyle


  • #10790

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