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  • what's that in your bag, an ak-47, no next to that, a bag of cheetos, yeah you can't bring that into the theater
  • using the bathroom at my girlfriends apartment, positive pregnancy test in the garbage can, and it's definitely not thanks to me, awkward moment seal, meme
  • so i'm boring because i don't drunk or go clubbing?, have you ever thought maybe you're boring because you need alcohol for your dull personality?, will ferrell, meme
  • did you know millions of american live with debt they cannot control?, that's why I developed this unique new program for managing your debt, don't buy stuff you cannot afford
  • finally the whole country will watch as a woman stands politely listening to a loud man's bad ideas about the field she spent her life in
  • when short shorts are just too short
  • i whisper what the fuck to myself at least 20 times a day
  • after this week i really need to be taken out, on a date or by a sniper, either one is fine with me at this point


  • me trying to remember someone's name when i meet them for the 5th time
  • if i was a superhero, superman lighting bong using laser eyes
  • you pigs better let me in or i'll blow your house, mmm, oh shit, sploosh
  • hacked irl, girl, ass
  • coffee mug with handle on the inside, fail, wtf
  • mistakes, it could be that the purpose of your life is only to serve as a warning to others, motivation
  • mother of flags, malta, indonesia, poland, thailand, france, finland, netherlands
  • a rainbow over dublin right after gay marriage is popularly voted into law


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