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  • we got a new slow cooker, chef turtle
  • when your mom opens the door without knocking, cat smoking a cigar sitting on cash and guns
  • stop looking at old volvos, you already have three, why can't you just look at porn like a normal husband
  • if i asked you to have sex with me, would the answer to that question be the same as the answer to this one
  • when this baby hits 88 miles per hour you're gonna see some serious shit, comic, back to the future, literally a baby
  • a man walks into a zoo, the only animal in the entire zoo is a dog, it's a shitzu, this is literally my favourite joke ever
  • ever read something so stupid it gives you forest whitaker eye, meme
  • after this week i really need to be taken out, on a date or by a sniper, either one is fine with me at this point


  • i feel sorry for netflix era kids, they will never know the high stakes adrenaline of running to the bathroom/fridge/bedroom in a single ad break
  • let's get naked, what the fuck brian, ever green
  • former white house chief strategist steve bannon blasts elon musk, he's an immature man child, can steve bannon please insult me some more, best pr i've had in a while
  • things men do that upset woman, lie, be honest, not talk, talk too much, not show emotions, be too emotional, breathe
  • when you're drinking a giant margarita while wearing a sombrero
  • somme's relationship with patches is complex, he loves her, she hates him, and he's completely confused
  • push to open, if that does not work pull, if both do not work try the actual entrance to your left
  • women love taking showers in boiling hot water, because it reminds them of hell, where they come from


  • #7816

  • metro

    , newspaper, time travel
  • 240 views
metro, newspaper, time travel
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