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KEEP IT CLEAN!
(EXCLUDE NSFW CONTENT)
i go to the same gas station everyday after work for beer and burritos
when i asked for my burrito the guy said
i knew you'd be here so i made a fresh batch
and that's the most thoughtful shit anyone's done for me in a while
went to the us embassy to apply for a visa
when the guard asked me if i'm carrying a weapon i said
fuck i forgot it at home
socially awkward penguin
i'm burying a dollar store skeleton in a shallow grave under a deck that i'm putting on the back of our house
should make for an interesting discovery in 30 some years when the next guy is rebuilding it
throwback to when the car insurance lady asked my mom for front rear and side views
but she didn't get the memo
when a guy tells you he likes you and you tell him you don't feel the same way
why does he stop texting?
if you apply for a job and the company rejects your application
do you keep going to the company?